Literacy

Free Writing
W.A.L.T : Edit for correct grammar. Add and delete information for impact.
On the 12th of November 1928 there was a boy called Jake who lived with his Mum, brother and his Dad. His dad worked in the army air force as a commander. He has always been Jakes hero because Jake liked the fact that he had saved many peoples lives and flyed jets. Although he did have to go to other parts of the world and so Jake never really saw him but Jake knew he had to do his job and he was doing it well. The only scary thing was when he goes over to the other countries to fight and Jake has always thought if he could get killed. So one day just after the world war 1 Jake and his family were terrified to whether Jakes dad would have came back. Another day had passed  on and still no sign untill they heard a LOUD KNOCK on the door 'BANG BANG'. They all rushed to the door in a hurry.
To be continued.

                                         Letter

Dear Keylen,

I have just seen a famous New Zealand Olympian, Mahe Drysdale win gold. He was rowing against some of the best in the world. Mahe Drysdale beat them all by miles!  It was a close race and it was neck and neck until Mahe started to go really fast. I felt so excited and happy! The crowd was so loud that I couldn’t hear myself. The medal that he got was big, shiny and looked heavy.

From Jake

Evaluation

Gymnastics is too dangerous because:

If you were young you could fall of the high bar and break one of your bones.

You could slip off something and hurt yourself or maybe break your neck.

If you try to do a trick you could accidently fail and really hurt yourself.

Gymnastics isn’t dangerous because:

If you start young and each day take little steps to harder and harder things later on in life you will be used to them and you will be able to do the hard things easier.

You have soft mats to fall on to if you accidently fall.

Evaluation

Bullies should go to camp because:
They might have already payed to go. 
If they be good and promise not to hurt anyone they should go.
Bullies shouldn't go to camp because:
They shouldn't be rewarded for being naughty.
They don't deserve to.

                                                                          Synthesis 8.

Design a scary flying fox

  

   Evaluation 10.

I give the story a rating 5/5 by just looking at the cover with the title "The Big Jump" with a picture of someone up high on a platform looking worried.

The writer used words to create pictures (similes, metaphors) in the story and it really made me want to read more. 4/5

The problem in the story was pretty good and interesting 3 and a half out of 5.

I think the character was well developed because he is a bully but he is scared of heights and so he gets all chicken and so it makes the story much more interesting and funnier 4/5

I reckon that the problem had a satisfying outcome because Big Daddy ended up jumping off.

Over all it is a really good story to read and I would recommend it.